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Wednesday, March 02, 2005

The mysterious nothingness of money

I see the cut of their clothes, their faces radiate comfort. "Good afternoon, I say stepping in their path, I was wondering and I hate to ask this but could you spare a little money." There is a silence. "Yes......yes...we can....here my husband.... Gerald....give the man..." I fix my eyes on the husband. "It's just that I'm trying to finnish this piece of writing and I'm a bit low on funds....sorry this must be so......I'm really sorry....Perhaps I should." "No, no, here's 5 pounds , get yourself a coffee or something." Do I: a) Take the money, thank them kindly, then spend it on beer and smokes. b)Take the money, thank them kindly, then spend it on food. c)Take the money, spit on it, screw it up and chuck it at their feet saying "I won't be bought off with the money of a guilty class".

My attitude towards money has remain consistent. I view it as a unavoidable necessity. I need a roof over my head. I need food. I need money to pay for those basic necessities. I have never had any ambition to pursue wealth. When I have money I try and enjoy spending it. When I don't have money I maintain an optimistic outlook that I will get more somehow. So far this has worked out. There is the danger of romantisizing poverty,especaily when you are young, but there is nothing romantic about the howling pain of a rotten tooth you can't afford to get fixed. I also see the first stirrings of a class consciousness in this entry, which didn't fully develop until about ten years later.

1 comment:

The Plant Man said...

thanks for that well thought out comment! i agree with you about freedom. I just think about the need for quiet reflection and discussion with the group versus the needs of one student to scream in class. but i know. who am i to quiet him down? it's an interesting question for me.